Paradoxical Proverbs - Part 1

A lot of people use proverbs to support their actions. The proverbs usually reinforce their way of doing things and are often employed when criticizing others. For example, as an impatient person, I've often been told that "patience is a virtue." That is hard to argue with . . . or so it seems.

What I've discovered is that, just like weaknesses have corresponding strengths, each proverb seems to have a corresponding proverb that contradicts its wisdom. In this case, "patience is a virtue" is countered by "he who hesitates is lost." This isn't very helpful. What should I do? Should I develop patience or should I get moving?

Patience is a virtue but it can be a vice. It depends on the situation. Hesitation can cost you but it might also save you. It depends on the situation. There are no strengths that are universally good and no weaknesses that are universally bad. 

Another example is "better safe than sorry" and "nothing ventured nothing gained." Is it better to be safe or to venture out? If I am safe will I be sorry that nothing was gained? If I venture and don't gain, will I be sorry?

Playing it safe can be a good strategy and it can also cause you to miss out on major opportunities. The right choice depends on the situation. Risky ventures can cause you to lose big but they can also help you to win big. Choosing correctly depends on the situation.

I think there are three lessons here.

First, find your proverb. Look for wisdom that confirms your strengths.

Second, ignore the contradictory proverb. It was probably written by someone who didn't have your strengths.

Third, find situations that fit your proverb. If you are patient, become a counselor. If you are impatient, then choose activities that reward your initiative, like starting a business or turning around troubled companies. If you like to play it safe, get into the insurance business. If you like to take risks, start day trading or move to Vegas or flip houses.

Don't let proverbs convince you that you have weaknesses that must be fixed. For any proverb you hear that criticizes your style, there is probably another one that supports it.

You can read a good example of this from John Stackhouse at the Morris Institute for Human Values. Compare his article, He Who Hesitates is Smart, to Malcolm Gladwell's thesis in Blink and you'll see that there is solid wisdom behind both thoughtful analysis and intuitive judgments.

Can you think of any contradictory proverbs? I'll be including a list in my book and I'd love to hear from you.